My heart is half filled.
These days i have been preoccupied with figuring out what i could have done better. Sonia is seeing the world real soon but i dont know how much of her delay is due to my part. Rodman shared that we haven't done much more than we could to make sure the delivery is smooth, and yes i am panicking with each passing day that the actual delivery will be prolong.
Having spoken to concern girlfriends, i realize how i have not done as much "workout" as i should to encourage delivery. Besides, my belly is really too way high up to be consider "ready for birth". A like-minded mum shared that her boob barely seen her belly onwards third trimester & i realize mine were just piling on top of each other.
Of course, panick came upon me & instead of bio-oil then wrapped up for the night yesterday, i stood in front of the mirror in my unattractive lingerie & maternity undies just staring. After what seems like eternity, coupled with the incessant knocking on the bedroom door from Rodman who just wanted a fresh set of PJ to changed into, i open the door & ask if he saw what i saw.
I'm pretty sure it sounded like we have done this a million times but i had, in fact, only allow him to to stare at my awkward belly less times than my fingers can count. Rodman was being helpful as usual & took some time to absorb & process his words, eventually he came to agree that it doesn't seem the belly is "sunken" low enough to suggest Sonia can come out soon. I am 37 weeks today, which means i am all ready to let Sonia see the world on her own next week onwards.
..................... i have aplenty of things to start doing like.. instantly....................
i really need to walk more, like way more than i am doing now, google also suggest scrubbing the floor on all fours. As with all Kristal antics, i am also worried if the baby is in a anterior position which will "encourage" prolong labour due to the baby being place in a uncomfortable position that makes it less convenient for her to slip out head down.
Then, since i have been driving all through the pregnancy, i learnt only yesterday that i should have sat & ensure all sitting position are adjusted so the butt is always higher than the knees when bended.... 9 months worth of wrongful doing i ought to be ashame of myself....
i am counting down to less than 6 days till i break from work for the maternity "holiday" to start, and i reckon i should stop worrying at having nothing to do, and instead work on my "to-do" list such as walking to encourage Sonia arrival before the EDD 20 August 2017.