and to tink i always hated local film and vow previously not to catch them,
i've decided to tk the chance to catch it anyway (prior to some reason =)
the movie make me cry so badly i inwardly felt so so so embaress to leave the cinema at the end of the movie cos the eye were swelling like chao-siew-pao, my eyeliner were badly smudged and i look damn awful.
Anyway this movie makes one cry, me especially due to the following reason:-
p/s for those who intended to catch this movie pls skip this paragraph cos i will reveal pretty much the genes of the movie.
1. Grandma very nice to the family, steamboat dinner : our family use to hold gathering every saturday at Grand's and the kids will play together while the adult sit together on the floor, sometimes talking about society and other times playing mahjong. Grandma can make the best curry in my entire life and i remember how each and every curry she cook pair with white rice and red bowl.
2. Grandma gives son money when they need help and promise to keep it from the other son: since i was a kid, i grew so attached to my Grandma that i was placed under her care everyday till i was into nursery, after my nursery i was "posted" to her house every weekend as Mum needed the break from the house from too much kid. My brother and i are a 7th-month Ge-tai each time we get together.
I often see how much she save each penny just so she could donate it into the donation tin, i was often offer the job of dropping the coin into the can. I would secretly complain to my Grandma that Mum wasnt giving us enough money to spend and i haven got enought toy. Needless to say at the end of the weekend i always return home with more gift and in better shape.
The adults often quarrel about how they were going to split up the profits from Granddad's company after he passed on. I 've seen the agony on Grandma's face as she sits helplessly by the marble stool, unable to have a say in anything. That was when i learn she probably has a share in the company but refuses to accept the money, and that was when i started to hate adulthood.
3, Grandma begins to lose memory: i remember Grandma often dialling the number to my house asking to speak to me and reminding me how i was visiting her lesser. I was in my secondary school then and was occupied with School band, so i gave her the same excuses over and over again. I made empty promises to visit her as soon as i can but it was useless since Deyi Band never take break from practices.
Grandma had a heart operation once, her heart was surviving on a tickling machine that operates like a clock. The clock pump blood into other parts of the body, taking over the role of heart. She will bring me to the hospital for check up with her, then bluff me into believing blood test was painful. Maybe it really was painful to her cos i saw her tear once with she squeeze out the blood off her fingertip to prove to me blood was flowing. I swear inside my heart i wanna take good care of her. I was about 12 yr old then and when she heard that she brought me to eat our secret food as a reward for understanding her.
4. Grandma was left in the care of children who pushes blame: i never got any closer to my relatives cos i was seeing them as a threat to my Grandma. I vividly remember all the quarrel they had so obviously about discussion of placing my Grandma here or there. I hated them! There was a uncle in particular who cant wait to get my Grandma out of the house so he can sell the flat and gain some money, this is so because he was inherited the flat after the death of my GrandDad. As a kid i had no say in such matters. Grandma was finally placed in a Old Folks Home cos no one else was capable of taking care of her, as they all claim.
5. Grandma was left in a Old Folks Home: i was utterly disappointed in the family when my Grandma was eventually placed in a Old Folks Home, but this was done for the better as the doctor advised she needs to be placed in a special care (right after she had a bad fall in the toilet and hurt her head) Since then, Grandma was a different person, no longer the Grandma who pushes me in her market trolley and brings me to the market. I remember pushing her around in the Old Folks Home, looking at her aimless face, knowing deep down within she no longer gets to eat our secret food together. She no longers yearn for my visit to try her food since she no longer had a home to welcome me to.
6. Grandma hospitalise: i received the news one night that Grandma was sick, it got me panicking as i was able to tink straight by the age of 19. Grandma had suffer a stroke and could no longer talk and walk, she can hardly move a finger nor communicate throught blinking of her eye anymore. When she arrive at the hospital, the doctor confirm she had less than 1 week to survive. My world came crashing down as at the point of time i was awake. I HAD MISS SO MUCH CHANCE TO MEET HER AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHE CAN NO LONGER WAIT FOR THE CHANCE TO COME.
When i continously see how the adults are franting over who will take over the duty of taking care of her since they all have work. I GAVE UP ON THE ADULT COMPLETELY. Though i knew i probably no say in making any decision at the age of 19, i assure the adults Grandma was in safe hands with me and i will call them the moment anything goes wrong.
I guess the adult suddenly have a heavy sack off their load, they immediately agreed. Dad and Mum was worried i couldnt take enough care of Grandma, but who else could? Who else knows whats the best for Grandma now?
I spend my days at the hospital, praying to all the Gods i ever remember exist, Grandma survived not only 1, but 2 weeks. By then all the adults again assume she was gonna make it through and decided to relax abit. i could sense something was very wrong, so despite losing almost 2 weeks of sleep by then, i couldnt keep my eyes close for too long, afraid the day might come when her heart stop pumping.
One weekend the doctor told us she was gonna remain a vegetable forever, and was only surviving on the tube inserted into her throat (slit open) for air. I could tell she was sufferring and wanted badly to stop the pain, but unwillingly to let go of her. Such dilemma was hard to take and i was helpless too.
I took the chance and went to pray at a temple one evening when another cousin could offer her time. I told God i wanted to end my Grandma's sufferring and for her to decide when she wanna leave. I told God if He make her leave happily, i will return my blood in return.
The night finally came, 3 weeks into her survival one night when i was almost dozing off when her heart beat skip a beat, i panic for a while and immediately felt strange. Then suddenly behind me i felt cold sends shiver down my back. I saw the shadow of something that resembles my GrandDad behind me but when i turn i saw nobody. I knew Grandma time was almost up but that night was the most beautiful i've ever seen her since her weight loss from a healthy 60plus KG till 38KG at the hospital. Her then skinny face was lighten with beautifulness, and her eye was glued on a image i cannot tell where. I quietly allow the both of them to enjoy their finaly moments together.
Next night i was ready for Grandma to leave, but it still came as a shock when her heart beat suddenly deteriorate lesser, i cried like a lunatic, shouting for the nurses to come. Michelle Cousin was beside me but she was asleep when it happens, i saw for the last moment in Her life her eye begin to close.
Behind close curtains i cried and scream for her not to leave me. Calls were made out and every one had rushed down from their home to see her for the last time. WHO ELSE BUT ME HAD SEEN THAT LAST FACE, THAT LAST SMILE AND THAT LAST BRIGHTNESS SHE HAD ON HER FACE. The nurses finally open the curtain and told me the usual line about trying her best. It hadnt come as a shock but i couldnt bring my feet any steps further. I collapse on the floor and slowly make my way to her. Grandma's hand was warm and it feel so good, the massage i constantly gave her had remove the water retention from the water-drip away.
It took less than 10 min for the warmth to turn into coolness. That was the moment that still haunt me till today.
i was very very affected by her dismissal. The movie brings back all the fondness memory i had of her. The scene when the "Mother" dies in the movie suddenly shoke back the warmness in her hand followed by the coolness. I realise it today i had never ever recover from the day she left me.
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