Sunday, November 05, 2006

Random---->

Drew this at work.. too bored..
i wanted to draw this that time when i join 182 and xy at seletar dampthis imagin finally got portray into a picture

The me

i am writing this entry halfheartening!!! a combination of concentration and confusion are poised into me and desperately need that bit of air to breathe >o<

Readers! do me a BIG favour.. leave a tag to voice your opinion..

Another day of work has passed and i so look forward to meetin the man for a good dinner. We sat by cine and had our dinner with the best friend0 Darren and all of a sudden we saw Samuel

*Samuel is my old sec sch fren who stand by me and scold me awake the 1st time i ditch B cos he was kinda cheating on me

Samuel said hi and stopped by for a chat with the look of "what-on-earth-are-you-doing-seeing-with-B" look.
i was petrified. not wanting to say anithing, i smiled weakly and did not say much. Samuel and the guys had a long chat like old time friend (they were old time friend!)

Until i left for home and Sam msg me asking how come i'll have decide to hang back with that Jerk ( i mean B this time) again? i dinno how to explain or convinced him. So i told Sam the truth of how i was treating him like dirt for half a year and how he still stick by. Sam retaliate by saying time is never a factor and i should have know better than him what was going to happen to me hanging around with B.
i told Sam i tot by testing how long he's gonna stay by me i should have already proven his sincerity, furthermore, its not as if the feeling are not there.. it always is around. Sam told me i should consider this whole thing carefully again and not commit the same mistake once more. i was not feeling as disheartening but couldn't helped not getting influenced by what this friend who has support me before ( and bring me to my feet again). At that point of time i was weak.
i know my feeling for B is growig every day. And what i agree to Zhi Hao (a.k.a the real JeRk i always call), by stickig with B wil definitely means more quarrel for us. But quarrel has not been a big factor for me and B. He took them as a lesson to improve on how to treat me better. at least thats wat i was told.
i dun wan to disagree with Samuel.. but i cant help getting influenced by him. i was cheated by him before. Jerk told me the decision is in my hand cos i am in the BEST shoe to decide what's the best for me. thats makes me more confused now..

here;s the plan
dear reader pls advise on my following action:
- should i voice out to B about this thing?
- will B gets upset over it?
- should i write him a letter? i wanna express sone stuff includig how i cannot take being fooled, i will tell him if he tinks he's gonna fool me i beg him to back out now then to see me get upset. Even if it means out of sympathy. i wan him to know that i cannot tk any more pain. At least not for now or this few years,, have seen too much..
- will telling him that most of the old freind are against me hanging out with him (cos his record is soo bad) affect him.. will it upset him?



help me k/... answer my enquiries

p/s: comment on my drawin too thanks =P

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