Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The past few days has been filled with:
-keeping the man accompanied
-working and earning minute for a living
-struggling to keep up with school

i haven had much time for myself, but thats ok, i felt really fufiled, like a efficient and successful person with plan set ahead, and though there are times i feel like a calendar, the sense of accomplishment really suits me =)

and yes, Xue Shan, i am staying happy, thanks for the testimonial, it touched me alot.... hehe.. u are a definite motivator. =)

Ah jek, a.k.a 182, ur head! haha.. some things are meant to tk place slowly.. haha.. will la, soon..

Si jia, haha.. u in no shoe to say jealous to me, cos u have open to more choices, just that you are too picky.. haha

This week onward, we'll all need to be synchronise, planning our schedule ahead of time, making sure we dun clash on certain issues, many of them are so determine to make their last semester worthwhile, i am no extraordinary. And yup, i've secretly slipped in some time during work to finish up the tutorial, well, easier said than done, my determination might not last,..


And there is this issues concerning spending more time with B, in time to come when i am flooded with project, i can foresee him being neglected, hate that side of me, ignoring stuff to concentrate on the other.

so i discuss this issues with Xy, and turns out she has her concern too, but gladly, 182 has talk things out with her, and they have decided not to let relationship distract them away from school.

B told me he will give up ani time we'll spend together as long as its for studies, i am grateful he's sacrificing that. We often talk about how he will have to support me during my further education, it is a dream for now, but often i hope the day will come soon.
Well the public holiday is pretty fun, let see

Monday-- short lesson day
had lesson for a short while, hehe.. convince my group to have a short discussion then leave for B's house, we are suppose to meet Ding Cong& Serene, Darren for a day at Beach Road to get some army stuff, naturally i was happy cos it was my first trip there and i had wanted to get some military stuff there.
The moment i arrived, the long bus journey had already strain me of any other energy left. He open the door for me, went back to his gaming room, then i rest my bag in the room before falling asleep on the bag.
B then called up the rest and turns out the whole trip was cancelled, so Darren had to meet us instead, our initial plan was to go to Vivo City, but we ended in Marina Square, Playing Arcade and catching the "Death Note" let me emphasize Death Note is a really interesting show that require thinking, but BUT beware there is a second part to it, so you will feel SO GEK! when it ended without an ending

We had dinner at the open Food court in Marina Square, i love it there, the atmosphere and all, after that the guys played Billard by the arcade while we await their friend, Melody and Priscella arrival.
Well, Priscella is B's ex girl, which is their current "buddy"/ She was beautiful and all,. and often the topic B and i quarrelled about, so when i learn that she was coming, i became quiet, this led to another whisper quarrel while we board a bus to arab street.
Eventually, the night turns out well, Priscella is a nice girl and Melody kept me very companied. Night fall and B sent me home =)

Tuesday
Work -.-"

ther u have, one friday with B (quarrel), one sat night with B (quarrel) and one sunday with B(Quarrel)...

well at least it often turns out peacful in the end, hate 2 stubborn people communicating, it always ends in quarrell..

Seriously, u all really think quarrel make 2 person closer? i get sick of quarrelling, sometimes i just wanna treat him so well so at least we can skip those quarrel..

Anyway that day we had a fight, as in i wanted to leave and he pull me to stay, AT CINELEISURe.. OMG.. in the end he apologise but i was stubborn not to agree..

the quarrel is probably the worst ever, in the end the poor boy had to kneel down and beg me not to go, its was a REAL heartbreaking scene for me and i swear i NEVER want to see that again, i cried non stop but din noe what to say, i wasn;t ready to tink hard so i suggest going home.

the next day we quarrel more and i was so angry i din wan to go anywhere till its all settle, we had a long talk and he finally break down, saying he is VERY scared to meet me cos he din wan to see me get upset because of him. What he said touched me alot and i was really grateful he has been patient with me despite my temper this days, dunno what got into me.

i really think he is such a nice guy, no longer the baddie i use to tink he is, its makes me feel more assured that our relationship (when i agred) will be success.. he really touched me this time and i must said i was very very apologetic for being silly this days.

We walked up to my house and he wanted to spend some time alone. Dad saw us both with blood shot eyes and when he persuaded B to stay, he rejected.
Dad walk into my room, seeing me staring in the dark room, he switched on the lights and ask me what happen.. i told him about my stupidity and how i despise B.. how my words make him so upset. Dad scold me real bad, telling me how i should treat a person right, i know i was wrong, just dunno how to face them. Dad in particular said this to me:" if you really think you wanna steady things with B, you HAVE to respect him, have to bear with him, suffer and enjoy with him."

He also mention that B is a tough guy with hard background, if i can stand hardship with him, give him room to work hard, we'll be together. Dad is right.. i feel so guilty at that point of time. Dad then asked me to call B to come up to my house.

i called B, asking him to come up, he was startled, abit not willing, eventually he came, Dad mention nuttin, just ask him to stay for the night (its already 12.54pm in the night)
That night B and my brother slept in my room while my sis and i slept in our parents.
I woke up in the middle of the night, walk into my room, and saw him sleeping so soundly, the look on his face, that look so innocent. I feel even more guilty.. i wanted to apologise, but i dun tink he will tk my apology seriously. So i grab his hand unknowingly, whisper a sorry and went back to parent room to sleep.

The next morning, B pretended nuttin has happened, so i decide to let it go too.. we were back to normal again, he fetch me to station before he went home and i went to school..

gosh.. i am tired typing.. read until sian right ?

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