Tuesday, December 28, 2004

i admit.... i haven update blog for quite a while.... this few days has been fun....... more of fun for me,... suffer for the others....... heha.... Btw Merry Christmas to all....... well.... to myself the most... mine i guess was the most "MErry" Christmas........ Mail gave me a tigger wearing a necklace,........ and the necklace was really nice......... it look weird i must agree,,,,, but it is really nice......... ok..it is a zip looking pendant........ symbolises? haha..... there are two long pole connected by a tiny pole......... so i means two person despite the distance are still hold together by "pole"....... get what i mean? he is so sweet.........

on 23.... Ooo... babies went for our Christmas celebration......... we went to a pub in CHinatown... call Stable pub.,.. the pub was pretty pathetic., i think those i've been to are better......... we drank alcohol and wine..... sing out hearts out....... ate finger foods.......... and of course christmas exchange.......... i gave Sharon Dear a white jacket which she chose.. and she gave me a Army green jacket which i chose..... both the same design........ thats best friend ya.......... haha........
i bought Gingerbread man for Sharon and YiXin..... Candice and Sharon.....and i think AnmArie,...i am suppose to buy for AnMarie.... so i bought her a angekl pendant for Nuovo... it symbolises that despite the misunderstanding regarding the missing bag and wallet, as long as she believe in herself......... the angel will still stand by her side..........................
Sharon(Ooo...baby) gave me a photo frame in return.. she was my angel........ haha..... gave me a retro love photo frame........ really very nice looking........... i drank lime and orange vodka........ wanted to try Tequila........ haha... but didn;t.....the cake Fred bought was really.... first time i praise a cake,.......... it is not sweet... and had Caramel nut powder sprinkle on top.... we took lotsa of picture........
on 24........ stayed at home the whole day..... Mummy wanted to bring us out to watch lightings.... i didn;t go......... i told her i will be spending the night with Mail....... haha....... at 8 pm in the night... meet up with Mail in the train station Amk........ he was holding a big bag./........ Mail plan to go Orchard to see the lightings and then go on to esplanade to countdown........ i was tired ..... turn down the whole plan.... we headed straight to esplanade......... we went to Suntec to eat our dinner... i didn;t eat........ my stomach had butterflies....... i drank IceMilo.. he ate a burger meal........... then we went to Esplanade.......... there were a lot of pple around,.., we heard Jazz music playing....... Mail and i had one thing in common... we just surrender to music.... in the end we stood my the sea and watch the jazz group played their music carols..... it went on for probably half an hour.................. then we went to find a spot to sit down.. i wanted to drink some alcohol. hehe./.. so he bought me a bottle of vodka....... we drank and talk..... but not to worry cos we didn;t do anything silly........ i feel a bit high.......... hah......... but instead of doing silly thingas......... i let out the feelings by scolding him and joking and telling him not to think anything stupid cos i am smart........ haha....... fun sia...
after a while we countdown and open present..... ok my present suck,,,....... i bought him a Towel!!! My cousin and i came up with the idea......... haha.... every colleague was practically laughing at the towel la..... haha.. then we went to the beach by one side and enjoy the wind and chit chat......... we left the place at 1 plus,,.... the day ended./..
on 25. whoa,... turns out Christmas was not as fun as the eve,,,,,,,,,, i was working the whole day....... and no customers.... everyone must be sleeping cos of the fun last night.... sales was terrible./.
on 26.... still working......... with Sharon Dear and Denise........... quite fun.......i miss Sharon dear so we had a lot to talk about................. at night Mail came to fetch me.... he had a hard time finding the shop.... Ordell and Alex saw him......... Denise and her classmates saw me too.......... hmm.... but i guess i was ok with the idea of telling eveyone he is my boyfriend.........
on 27..... monday.... supposing no work....... wear like damn shit... prepare to go home eat waych tv and slack....... sudden;y Jean call me to work... embarassed but had to go to town to work in a shorts... sandals and a huge polo tee Fred gave me......... shit....... but happily Cuz and Holly came to find me... everyone said Holly was damn cute.......... Aunt Lei, Aunt Hong.... Ah Ji(Cuz's) and Aunty Rose all came....... i feel even worst in my clothings.......... ate Chicken Foldover meal with Jean for Dinner........ met up with XinYi to take her admin card


Sunday, December 19, 2004

Been having fun./........ doing work...... extra workload......... what can i say? it;s a fufil day........
REcollection of what happen today.......
-My Aunt did a Fat-test for me....... learn that i have to cut down on my oil intake... so i was pretty stupid to stop eating rice and noodle for a long time........ oh but nvm, i have gotten the habit..... now can eat all these a litle..... lets move on to less oil...... more soup!
-My Aunt bought me a shirt... polo one...... colour cousin choose....... we saw Sharon while eating at food junction... Cuz say she slim down...... hmm..... Michelle (CHIJ-SJC) slim down too...... Sam Chua Xing Fang slim too..... kriSsIs better work double hard.........
-went to work to realise i need not work today..... luckily my cousin sponsor my cab to her hse..... somebody is rich liao//////
-did some A-math........ i think my brain is deteriotating, it's not active anymore,.......
-Mail left work early today too..... but we did not meet..... what is more important than having some time spare to share with my cousin..... really miss her
-Cousin worn a mini shorts with a blouse..... the style i always like...... so cowgirl......... hmm...... she does attract quite some attention
-bought a belt for Denise for her christmas........
-spend the night writing X'mas cards
-tomorro mummy is going to Sentosa,......... i think i am meetig Ismail for a while .. dunno la...... see first./...... i think he should spent more time with his mummy.....
-Call Ismail home just now....... he is still not in... his mum was talking to me.... telling me what time he reach home and stuff..... feel a bit happy
-eat cousin bread stick today
i think i am basically talking nonsence again
okok...... here is the interesting part again........ that day chatted with Ismail......... i was very pissed off,......... cos he like no time to call me........ then always busy with work...... and all the talking session was about work........... so i thought i had enuff we are suppose to meet but suddenly he call say his grandma hospitalise....... so the whole day i was troubled....... cos i am angry but i thought at this time i am supose to support......... but all the same......... i still flare up........... den in the end......... he kpt quiet and listen to me the whole time..............
after a while............ he apologise............ and told me he agree with me that he took me for granted and he promise he will change/............. So Sweet......... i think i am too temperimental....... it partly my fault....... sorry! i dun put it in my words to you..... but i am sorry.........
here's cow and chicken part 2........ cow-Krissie chicken-ismail
cow and chicken talking abou changing of attitude.........
cow:"Aiyah later i keep telling you to change your atitude, one day you will realise...... what is wrong with this girl ah...... like only find bad side of me... never the good side........"
Chicken:" (thought for a while) aiya........ you ah........ really ah./........ dun think that way................. i........... erm........ i ............. aiya........ erm........ i love you too much to scold you..........................."

i was stunned for word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stunn for a long time........ and in return for such a romantic conversation was cow going:" please ........... ah....... please promise me you will never tell me such thing again......... i cant take it..... goosebump!"

i think i am the world's biggest idiot........ haha....... what a reaction./////////////// but i couldn't come up with anythig and certainly cannot handle them.................... anyway i thought this conversation ought to be pen down........ memorable ne............

i told him something that make sense too............ btu i am not going to elaborate........
"one always have to encounter a huge impact in one thing before he/she realise there is changes needed to be done to them"

Thursday, December 16, 2004

i dun like the feeling of being bullied..... or being observe by someone else......... but i do that myself.......

few days ago after work was taking the train alone home....... just another dread day..... i dread pulling my heavy and tired leg to walk that mile along the dark road home........ on the train saw a malay couple......... was observing them cos i was wondering to myself if Ismail was to turn out like them....... so touchy right in the train itself........ then i went on and observe his watch....... cos the face was pretty good....... those kind i like where the face is digital....... and huge kind....... also i went on to observe the guy's eyes(ONLY the eyes)....... cos i realise many malay guy put eye liner....... i guess i went a bit overboard...... cos he caught me staring at him (think he thought i was admiring him........ huh? what the hell!~#@%$^%^^&) he and his girlfriend started talking real soft and laughing real loud and after that turning towards me and observing me.......... that day the train ride was far most the most hateful one i ever had......... but i shall forgive them........

yesterday was a damn busy day....... call up many new girls to try out work at p.s but no one turn up......... so had to do it myself....... actually i was only in charge of Admin...... in the end is a double work........ so tired!!

few days ago last wed went shopping with Denise........ then we also meet during work...... me and her bonding getting better........ but nevertheless miss sharon....... Cousin came to visit a few times....... but we hardly talk..... one day she even came with Regina..... this girl my stupid cousin use to crush on............

sent my sister to the airport..... she left for korea for one week......... coming back next monday..... wat a parting scene...... this is by far the first parting i never cried...... mummy was on the verge of doin it..... it's only a week mum........... then before that had dinner with aunty and family...... talk and they commented i change alot after working in the society...... strange...... was that a compliment?!~

Now for the interesting part...... i was a bit unsecure not meeting ismail for along time....... some more today suppose to be our standard day out..... cos we both took day off on thursday to compromise...... he haven call.......
Anyway i told mummy about Ismail....... woo........ big risk........ mummy was the greatest fear i had against BGR...... and i dunno why but i was determine to tell her...... told her about Ismail race and how long its been going on........ she kept quiet for a while and told me....... as long as i was happy there is nuttin she will do to stop me........ cool!~ but she say if someone better comes along the way....... why not,.,,,,,,,, hmm........

Told Ismail this news and he freezed! haha....... stupid./...... he kept silence for a while and reveal to me :"now the fear is really getting near!" in the past he will ask why i choose not to tell mummy about it....... and he boast how much he is a mama-boy to his mum so i dun have to worry....... haha.///...... that silly dummy finally surrender! i told him he is the first guy i EVER talk to mummy about..... so i know mummy is cautious and will not forgive the slightest mistake he make....... told him that too and he was erm-hem...... haha..... speechless too...... haha!!! so funny......
Wanted to ask him a sweet question what turns out to be a cow talking to a chicken! I thought my action of telling mummy was something we always plan to do........... so i ask him:" if i was a document ranked IMPORTANT...... how long do i stay as IMPORTANT to you..... the person-in-charge?" Guess what is the stupid dummy answer?:"the grass is green......... a field of grass is green....... no matter whether one handful of grass fade or not..... the overall field is still green" WHat the HelL!!!!! i dun understand the answer.. sounds weird...... haha.,....... but i assume it belong to the "will-be-important-for-a-long-time" category....... haha....... isn;t it the original version of Cow-talking-to-chicken?!~
His friend saw the ring..... all said he stupid..... how come let a girl do such thing....... his mum saw......... scold him for making a girl pay...... haha..... sometimes...... i think my action brings trouble........ but nvm..... cos he think it is all worth it... fine loh!

what else to update? hmm........ ooo...baby is offering me a 40% discount all the way till christmas,,,..... anyone want to get anything better come find me....... ahha.........
later today at 11am later...... meeting Apel yap and her boyfriend APe (adrian) to go tanning at Sentosa,,,,,,, never call Denise or cousin cos the couple is hmm.............. fun! but hard to understand

Sunday, December 12, 2004

hmm........ few days has past...... nuttin much happen to me...... it's all about work and work........... haven seen Ismail for a while./....... he has been working 10am-1pm non stop for a few days........ hmm........ today actually he wanted to pick me up from work...... but i didn't want to abandon Denise so we did not meet up........ hmm....... another week passed........ i am glad he at least collaborate with me and both of us took thursday off...... at least it is one day we can meet......... Yesterday he msg me using Johan's phone....... it looks like this:" Ismail here....... i tried calling you at 2.15pm last night but you did not answer...... pls call me at 11.15am when you woke up...... if my mum answer the phone please get her to wake me up....." haha..... i thought this msg was real cute....... well i did call him but it was only after i reach the shop at 11.30..... chatted for a while........ he sound sleepy....... haha...... i still recall the day i "propose" to him......... hmm........... haha

i suppose Jerk did read thru my blog...... he congratulate me in his blog..... thanks pal....... hmm...... my holidays almost over but still haven meet up with you........ smart ah....... ahha...........

i miss two person now............ my cousin Vivien and Dear Sharon/... i saw cousin that day but we did not really meet long....... as for Sharon...... we haven met........ cousin......... i wanna play tennis........ my bones are stiff............ hmm..

Special friend........ hmm....... you have woke up from your nightmare........ i hope you are a new you...... a manly, egolistic, and more systematic new you........ jia you...... all the very best

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Ismail and i are finally togther...... hehe.......... it was a sweet and dirty(oh) experience

Today is the 8th December 2004,.... one month ago on this day's yesterday Ismail called and we came up with a decision to give him an answer.... one month one day has passed.... not too late.

Everything was act according to plan.. i got him to pick me up after work........ i brought the ring along. one day before.. Ordel, Steve and i took turn to polish the ring.... it was shining.. haha... i reveal all about Ismail to steve......

Today./. shopping with my Princess Dede. actually meant to be a outing with Samantha one. but she is not in the mood,......... so woke up in the morning,......... ate 2 roti prata again (for consecutively 3 days!) then call up Princess Dede.... ask her out. she say ok.... bath and bring out 100 buck. on the way this is what happen in SHORT:
-> donation ticket $5
-> drink banana juice $2.5
-> bought lovely mini dough nuts for Dede and me $1.8
-> bought a japanese hp chain = the one with the doll that bring sun, wearing a onyx stone $7
-> bought a crop pant $16
-> bought lotion for christmas giving $6
-> ate ramen. Dede insist we ate. too spicy. yuck $10
-> raining... cannot travel anywhere, bought a umbrella (Denise pay more) $4
-> my shoe. saw AnMarie worn it. nice...... $20
-> paid Yixin for something i didn't owe $5
-> kana force to buy a perfume from a stupid salesman $15
all together......... $92.30 spent.. but god knows where the rest $7.70 went..... i have nuttin left in my wallet

went to plaza sing for my new job,.. fred hire me as a admin asistant. go by the hours....... spent the rest of the days there....... Ismail pick me up ..... we walk from doby ghaut to sommerset.... we took a train to Yishun. actually plan to go Esplanade....... but i didn't wan to tire him. so i say Yishun..... took a train to Yishun. talk alot of nonsence on the way.... saw his hand...... i must say i like his hand alot!!! especially since he is holding all my bags and stuff... haha./.. he talk nonsence i listen.. as usual la.... my cat can talk alot.......

reach Yishun.... walk to Bus interchange... saw Bai ZhiWEi and forget-the-nam,e........ he chat for a while./. we walk on to the park opposite my house........ walk a big round.. suddenly i cant find the track in the dark........ so we had to walk on grasses..... he stood on mud (here is what i meant by dirty)....... and his face sulk....... my cat is a fussy one.......... his face sulk all the way till i bring him to a bench in the park near my house........ put my stuff down and look at him.... he is still complaining about the mud.. haha./... naggy sia....... i ask him if he wans to know what i bought him. he went like :" i thought you told me you bought it for me but you wont give it to me?". stupid silly dummy........ i took out the blue package........ pass it to him.. he stretch out his hand.. i took it back again... hmm.... no according to plan......... i pluck up the courage..... took out the ring and ask for his hand.......put in on.. oops!! too small...... he took it out and put on the fourth finger........ i said :"NO!~" i took out from his forth finger.. readjust the ring and fit it into his second finger...i like it there.. haha.. then there was silence........ cannot be right..... so i said:"Oh. forget .... i am SUPPOSE to do this now...." i took his hand and giggle. laught and look into his eyes:"Will you be my boyfriend? hahahahaha" he look at me....... mouth cannot even close lah........ nod his head and smile....... he was shock...... then he went on and on.... :"sorry i didn;t get you stuff.......... the shoe is all worth the mud..................... you are so sweet........ sorry i didn;'t get yoy stuff....... ahha" on and on lah. ask if i wanna sit down. i said no?!~ stupid right? but i seriously dunno why i say that........ we stand up.... my hand in his....... and keep smiling.... i told him this was nto suppose to be the correct destination.... he just laugh and say i was so sweet to plan all this./............ after a while.... i say i wanna go home....... we walk on to the bus stop.... that dummy put his hand on my shoulder.......... i dun like it. but..... hmm. nvm..... reach the bus stop. he is still staring at his ring..... i request he dun put his hand on my shoulder......cos i kinda feel more like a buddy.. den that dummy quickly remove his hands.... then he never touch me at all liao./..... haha........ silly sia......
bus reach after a while../..... i turn to him and give him a hug... den i walk on without looking back......... i think he is very happy too.....

i know this time i am behaving more like a man.. but hey .... it is the 20th century...... girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.. hehe........................

Monday, December 06, 2004

i like this shot... taken in brother's room... just woke up. i am typing now and half a min ago i took this photo shot..... haha
now i loo funny...... but i guess i have woken up completely.. or else i would not have swing like this..... haha
Sam and me.. Sam is my closest friend in CJC..... she came to loo for me... i miss her so much.. guess what ? she lost 15 kg!!!!!
i hate this shot..... i look guyish..... i look like a retard
i hate this shot too.... saw my pimples on the chin..... hate it!
Ismail got me to do this henna.. he paid for it.. the other two fingers belong to Jean
AnMari and me......i must admit she is a true beauty.15years old.. first day of working....... with me.......
Jean and me...... we both look horrible!`
lighting along the road if orchard..... i was sitting down chatting with Ismail and i took this shot
AnMari and me again...... she is too beautifulllll i look horri-gi-ble beseides her

Thursday, December 02, 2004

life today's was the ultimate....... as in the ultuimate boring-kind.........todays is all about eating, watching tv..... and doing nuttin........ i hate todayy...... wish i could bring my fat legs together and do some outdoors...... hmm........ i am plain lazy la........ /ismail say he try to call me in the morning so we can talk longer...... hmm.. but he did not....

Yesterday Tristan Sean call...... let me do a little introduction of him....... Sean is a friend i met on friendster...... he is so-call older than me and i happen to be his youngest friend..... we get along pretty well and stuff..... cos i am good with me reasoning of everything i do and because i cheer people up...... he is those passionate kind...... not my cup of tea,....... but his reasoning can be quite interesting some time...... so we can kind of click.

He is a casanova kind........ he admit it,..,.. and he makes people lost for words.... i thought i can succed i talking my way out of him..... haha. i was wrong........ he called and we chat cos Ismail hang up the phone i was still awake...... we talk a bit..... sean is really not the type i enjoy talking to..... many times he ask me question that i feel uncomfortable...... so in the end i suggest we stop talking cos i dun like his question....... after some sorting out...... he kinda understand what i was referring to................. so he confirm with me that we will never be together...... cos mainly beacuse i was too young for him and i am not his cup of tea either....... but i still uncomfortable with the conversation...... like how on earth can a guy come up and tell you......." i love your hairstyle....... and i like hearing you talk... i like hearing you stop and get lost for words...... i like hearing you ask me why ........ i love you..........." when he say all this i wanted to hang up the phone////// but he explain that love is a feeling that family feel for one another....... THAT kind of love...... he treat me like a sister. so he love me......i reson and object..... but i didn't manage to talk my way out....... i told him in that case my cousin love me more than anyone else..... he say he will love me (yuck!!!!! totally yuck!!!!!!! i swear it does yuck!!!!!!!!!!!) more than my cousin...... cos he is a guy and my cousin is a girl.... what nonsence........

my conclusion- the conversation makes me learn more about people 5 years older than me (not that i am really interested in it) and it makes me realise I like Ismail alot....... haha... believe it or not... the conversation tells me that it is hard to make me melt or convince myself to other stuff....... and the silli dummy did it......

....... the meeting to send Pat a parcel was a failure..... we did not meet up
=.... cousin agree that Ismail does resemeble Taufik...... as in when he ws younger lah

p.s= my special friend..... hope you are feeling better..... i dun like your blog entry....... thats all.....

not talking much today

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Taufik won!!! hehe......the secret to why i like Taufik so much is reveal today..... simply because he look so much resemble to Ismail........ hmm........ he won..... i wasn't wrong with my decision..... i make wise choice...... cool!!!~

Today everythings happen like the way they should not happen.......
`quarrel with sharon but my calmness bring us back as best of friends yet again......
`Freddy kind of scold jean....... she threw her temper on me and i was obviously angry...... but i hug Denise and back on my spirit again... and things went out fine.........
`suppose to meet yiling and gale and Suilan to get pat's christmas present done...... but turns out i guess they dun treasure the friendship as much as i do.....
`Ismail did not call me......hmm...... but i have confident in us

Today's mummy;s birthday...... went to work and went back early....... we went to makan and ate the cake SIS bake and maureen bought....... did i mention the shutter movie was so freaky nice i hug my SIs to sleep.....

tomorro if they dun bother to meet up for pat than let it be...... i shall do it all by myself..... but as for the cos t of the parcel..... i will have to bear the burden myself......... suddenly i remember Suilan still owe me 20 bucks... no wonder mummy always say i get bully being nice..............

Ismail........!!!!! we went out the day before yesterday..... did i mention how nice it was? we had so much fun despite not being able to watch "shutter"...... we went to eat Wrappa mania and bought Vienne christmas present..... just like magic suddenly i thought i might just bring him to take the secret route i came to know about by Freddy....... so he thought we were going to take a train cos we were going to B2...... you ar so wrong.....

he was SO shock to see a long passage ....... he felt like a idiot for a min cos the route seems so unfamiliar to him...... we walk and we reach the opposite side of plaza sing........ then we walk on to Somerset then to orchard... then we talk..... really talk alot..... i felt awkward at first...... his leg were beginning to gie way... we came across the fair we saw earlier....... i wanted to buy a watch..... but all they have was lady's kind..... thn i pick up a few choice........ he chose the butterfly one..... i really like it./....... and i bought it.

we went into the fair..... and i was welcome by the scarf so beautiful... wanted to get it but he say Geylang serai has nicer's............ so we skip..... then i saw Candles and immediately thougt of mummy...... bought some for her........ then i saw Cuz skirt at a rate so much cheaoper....... so i bought one more for her....... then we wnt to admire guys ring.......his taste is definitely way diff from mine....... he like those with prints..... i dun like....... i still like those sinple kind with no pattern,......... we couldn;t come up with an agreement....... he did not get any in the end....... but he taught me a new things...... if you really like somethings ..... just get it,., and i did
walk past a henna shop...... he stop me........ he encourage me to take a henna...... out of curiosity..... i agree..... we chose a nice design..... he stand beside me and the lady did a henna on me........ i make him pay....... hehe..... he say he wanted to get me something so i reckon this was a good chooice........ then we walk on......... then suddenly there a huge sparks in the sky..... the christmas tree was officially lite up..... it was so.... erm ..... romantic....... haha..... we laugh a bit...... we walk a bit and finally out of the mall....... we were thirsty... so we graba drink..... sat by Takashimaya outside and chit chat ........ chat a lot....... arguement....... and stuff...... but it was so nice to talk to him..... i know i wasn;t concentrating....... he know i wasn't too........ hehe... but he went on....... and on...... he played with my phone..... took pic of me..... haha........ i told him to take a pic of himself but he refuse.........hmm..... then i peer off the henna cos he say he wanna see it before anyone./... hmm..... i had the temptation to let him peer it for me... but nope! we aren't together yet/////// hehe..... so when everything was off... he was staring at it in amaze..... he like girls with henna......... we walk on and he saw his friends./....... they tease him..... he was blushing..... ahha............ we walk on to the station... i was dead bit........ past by the man who do sketches....... saw him 3 times altogether... i was staring at it in amaze.///...... he keep asking me to do it... let the man sketch me..... i refuse....... he almost succeed in pulling me there slightl;y........ but he is ever so gentle... hehe...... we went home.........

it was a fun night,...... and i am really looking forward to seeinghim again..... i do not denied initially i kind of feel nuttin again,,,,, the feeling just stuck somewhere suddenly and i so wanted to admit to him and just go away,..... but i am glad i did not... cos i might have regret it the way i use to always do...... to the station..... saw wendy..... nuttin much........

Miss Sharon dear,,,,, wish she was around to gimme me hope...... miss you dear
i am furious....... so furious..... but i mustn't show......... Sharon....... why mus you always make your best sister to tears.?! why is it every single line of you words matters so much to me? why must you accuse me the things i didn't do? dun you know how much you mean to me? dun you care about my feelings no more?
~why do i have to face walking a long distance from school to your house carrying two huge bags of mooncake just to help your brother deliver them? and then going to your hse and letting your mum treat me like a maid?
~why do i kept so quiet when you wanted to buy the slimming pills and you told Denise about it but not me? i know and i know that is not the right thing to do........ but as long as you know what you are doing i am fine with it
~why do you think Denise and i are always together...... we dun wan to spoil a day you wanna spent with Caifu..... you might say we are totally fucking bullshitting........ but that is really what the hell is happening
~i wanted to throw my temper at you but it is so fucking hard........ you make me feel shit..... life's like hell.......
~why must you always assume things that is not true........ if we do not care for you i would not have fucking get angry now and then.......
~Fuck it........ fuck off........ you pissme.............but dun stay away.....................i must control my temper.......

at the end of the day i still wna you as a sistr........ CAn you for fucking hell please make attempt to call me out ...... it is like that for Denise....... like that for sui lan...... like that for gale....... like that for yiling........... it all does not matter........... but not you ........ cos you and i we treat each other equally........ there are no older ones...... there are no one that care for each other more............... we care for each other EQUALLY.. thats why is not always me askig you out!