Sunday, September 07, 2003

again..... a long time has gone since i last updat my entry, feel so weird, suddenly think of JeRk, i dunno why! i went into his diary entry, he did not update it the slightest, even if he did, there souldn't be anymore entries about me, i am like apat history to him, i knew it, i just cannot bring myself to admit to fact sumtimes, haiz, wonder why i am lidat? i think of contacting him, as usual as before, but i felt that its always me trying to do sumthin first, i am nto desperate for anything, i jus wan to improve my figure, hoping that may help me. I dunno, that JeRk, why do i think so much of him today, so many handsome guys outthere, why him! he is just out there to make me hate him. nobody understand nor knew what haooen or how i feel, i am just the usual strong girl i am. went shopping with Denise and Sharon today, finally, the D.K.S is back, but not anymore the best friend kind, i duneven regard sharon as one, i told her one day, noe why she is so close to me now? Cos Cynthia finally dump, i Knew the day will cum anyway, jus a matter of time, as usual, not more than a year, haha luckily this time i state my stand, a firm stand, i am not going to let her get me the way i use to allow her. Regarding Denise, she is jus out to badmouth Cynthis, anyway thats what Cynthia use to do anyway. I knew the fact of life, Sharon start buying CLEO jus after i told her she will never attempt to get a magazine. haha, Human! i wonder whu will one day read my entry? JeRK? i printed out all his diary entry regarding me, haiz, maybe that makes me feel better. JeRK-ZhiHao. Haiz! anyway, what a catch today, bought a shirt i never thought i would wan to buy! a shiny crystal kind of top, astonishing! i jus wonder if i am really going girly or jus for a period of time?i wonder, shoud be studying now but ain;t doin it. wanted to sing a song but not doin so. KrIsTal> prob i am dreaming now! haha. Jia you , after o level, everything is over, there are defintiley better guy out there

Bobvin calme today, haha..... i did not answer, he is so damn desperate, if he were to see me now, he would definitely regret doin all he is doing now, the past is the past, he is dawning over it, sum times, i think back of the past, the time i was so assured i wan him forever, that 3 month plus of relationship, prob the sweetest, the CD he gave upon hearing my idol, the movie we watch, the night in the park, the movie we watch with Jovin and his stead back then. haha, and all the sorrow, the beijing trip, the waiting for 4 hrs for a movie, the mother scolding, the everything, i still dunno what to expect, still young back then.....

went to pub that day with mummy and Kristi, drank hooch-blackcurrant, my first ever alcohol all to myself, the guy that serve, look so much like Bobvin, his mother owns a pub too, was it him i saw? i dun think so later, he caught my eye a few time, just that look, it was just that day,the other day i went, becos i did not look attractive probably, i didn't bother to notice him, he prob notice me cos i was like the youngest, or he may just see a young girl amongst all aunties. i forge father's drum beat, standing cos i feel better that way, when he saw me, we caught eyes again, he went somewhere and brought me a chair, i feel so graceful, i thank him and accept the seat, that nite i left without looking back, prob becos i did not like him as much..... Stupid JeRk

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