Friday, July 21, 2017

Back from reservist; Staycation at my place

So its finally friday!!~ Which meant Rodman returns from his reservist & we are back to relying on each other till i pop. 

This week has been tiring, but it would have been worst if not for the help of my family & close friends. First up, we were all worried i might pop during this period & Rodman wont be able to help me out. 

Special grateful to Ed&Shayne for hanging around our neighborhood instead of heading back to their parents' place for the week, as a back up if i needed an extra helping hands. 

And there were my niece, my Mum & my sis who offered to pop by my place to keep me accompany (and help me used up my expiring annual leave no less). 

I had a great dinner with Bestie & Jean & my sis last night. It's weird that just yesterday we all felt like my sis was just a toddler & today she sat across the table from us all & chatted just like we were all good old friends. At the end of the dinner Jean & Bestie request that Kristi joined us for future outings but i had to pull the plug here. hahaha... only because i needed to upkeep my "reputation" as an elder sis & i dont want to refrain from speaking my mind for fear that she cannot see me like she should in future. 


But i know ultimately that Kristi has been around my girlfriends far too long since i know almost all of them for at least a century?   As we made our way back to my place last night she could name off all the ladies i hang out often with & she knew them like they were friends on her facebook as well... 


Anyhow, i think this week stay at my place help my sis learnt a little harsh reality of being away from parents. My mum has been toying with the idea of dropping our maid once her contract is up but i can already fear the hardship that is to come. Both my younger siblings are not used to helping around the house in terms of household chores & my mum isnt going to turn younger with the years piling, then there is the addition of new family member plus my baby & niece that she has to take care of as a stay-at-home-grandma. I have feedback against dropping our maid cos i see how valuable those additional help from her have been for our family. 

Nevertheless, i can see where my mum is coming from, being able to save on the expenses & having more from my Dad that is the only one working among them both. I have yet to discuss the matter of passing mum some money to thank her for babysitting Sonia but at the moment i've decided to hold it back till i was sure we can afford it. Keepng our fingers crossed that it will all end up well......


Bumpfie with selfie at week 36, technically start of week 37 but will stick to the book instead. 

So yesterday, i recall some of the difficulties i've faced going through the pregnancy & decided at some point i shall document them down so i dont forget this information i figure on my own. 

Here's a video of Sonia squirming in my belly, so active this baby
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B6mGIBZjneRFTWVVdGxJVU0ySk0

How does baby movement feels like?
OK this differ with every woman, but for mine i started really acknowledging those movement as baby kicks when i hit third trimester. 

I must have googled >20 times & asked like 4 mums exactly how it felt like but was still clueless. Google mums didnt do justice to the description & could NEVER EVER figured what it meant when there were butterflies in your stomach. 

"....like i've never swallow butterfly before so who can tell huh?"

Today, if you asked me, a baby movement felt like the exact motion of farting/burping. You know at that point where your stomach jerk when you burp?   YEAH that is baby kick, minus the discomfort in your throat or your tummy (painless really), THAT IS BABY MOVEMENT.

How to conquer hunger during pregnancy?
This, to me, is the easier to answer. At the start of the pregnancy, you need to already realize that you DO NOT NEED TO EAT FOR 2. .

Fact, a new born baby tummy is the size of a walnut. Tell again how eating a walnut portion of food means twice of everything?

Inevitably, not being to eat during pregnancy is deeply saddening. I only felt real hunger by 2nd trimester so that was the time i allow myself to indulge in food. i dare not say it was the same for all the mummies but i dont feel like i needed to wake up to munch when i am asleep, but during pregnancy sleep is so so so so so much easier than before (no i am including the insommia by 3rd trimester in this discussion here) so i am not letting them slip passed.   I was the light sleeper before i got pregnant, so those 7 months of fantastic sleep is rewarding & other than those pee trips most midnight i just wanna hurry peed & return back to the comfort of my bed... so hunger what hunger? Sleep is king!

If you really felt like your appetite is bigger than pregnancy, accept it but remind yourself what the 老人家 mention about those food. So with each mouth tell yourself "too much of this, baby drop hair" "Too much of that i will surely puke".... Like i am sorry but i kept alot of disgusting thoughts in my mind as i ate each mouthful, though i am not upset about it because the weighing scale plus the size of the baby agrees muahahhhaa. 

i am currently 10Kg heavier than pre-pregnancy, and Sonia weights maybe 2.5Kg today, the water retention in the body is questionable, but i am praying Baby will soon pile on the weight before full term. 


How to track everything?
This is damn easy to answer....

Baby growth - use & download OVIA pregnancy app on iphone /andriods
Contractions - use & download Contractions app on iphone/andriods, it is a green icon with a cartoon baby head sketch in the middle









Tuesday, July 18, 2017

35 days till P-O-P

The changes by now have been manageable, saved for the dry cough that still hasnt gone away. 

i know for sure Sonia is having a hard time keeping up with her sleeping pattern, and i only have myself to blame.  The Gynae mention Sonia is sitting on my Tummy hence the breathing is limited & causing the cough every min. Somehow i am glad Rodman is away on reservist this week because at least he has this well-deserving sleep without being interrupted by my coughing through the night. 

I can tell if i dont have Sonia right now, i might gain some abs from the incessant coughing haha. My appetite is also significantly hindered, but its for the better because otherwise i am not sure my body can cope with anymore weight gain. At last check 3 days ago, i am currently 63kg, started out at 53.7Kg so that is a whopping 10Kg gain since!  i guess the only comforting thing to note is i am now less than 35 days away from popping so the gain is but momentarily??

The feeling of gagging is harder to manage these days, it reminded me of 1st trimester quite a bit, except i can manage them better, sometimes alternating between swallowing big gulp of saliva or just coughing the feeling away. I also tend to feel unwell within short interval of time, drifting between dizziness & out of breath. Thankfully they only happen after i am done with a fuller than usual meal, so i try very hard to keep my meals small & just sufficient. 

Just the other night after saving a slice of cheesecake for dessert, i struggle to finish them & by nightfall i had puke out almost every single bit of it. Of course naturally it scares Rodman quite a bit & lesson learnt since. We now keep our last meal of the day early & in smaller portion. I am guessing Sonia now has little space to move about & i am suffering from her discomfort, but the good news is i have sliightly less "weight gain" to shed off once this pregnancy is finished. 

Saw this chart off pinterest some time back  & decided to save them, i am curious how long i can withstand breastfeeding so this might come in handy. After attending the seminar over the weekend, i learnt that i should prioritize breastfeeding over everything else. In addition, the cost saving of breastmilk over proper food plays a huge part too. There are certain arguement in the market about BLW & i am sitting on the fence what sort of feeding techniques will work for Sonia. Ultimately i need to understand that Sonia will be mostly taken care of by my Mum so whichever works for her po-po will works for us too i guess?
Spoke to a few mom to garner some information prior to the start of my breastfeeding journey. i came to decided on Bepanthen because it serves as both a nipple cream as well as diaper rash cream. 

I also secure a good deal off carousell, for a 100gm tube of Bepanthen at only SGD$16. Mummies recommend to start applying the cream as nipple cream to prep your boobies for baby suckling. Then again , other LC (lactation consutant) advise to leave the boobies untouch & surprise it immediately after birth so as to quickly trigger the colestrum. Again too many opinions gathered so right now i am just leaving it till i can decide how else to move on... 




Finally met up with Paperstop one evening & man it felt great to feel like a woman again . Unfortunately we were both down with dry cough so it was pretty comical seeing how the restaurant patrons were clearly worried when they hear us coughing every few min. 

Since we were both out of appetite dinner was just warm porridge over siew yoke & bean sprouts. I love how we both skip much of the siew yoke & jump right at the bean sprout because here is someone who knew how hard it is trying to finish each bite of dinner if the food is fried. I have never felt healthier in my diet than i am now. Pregnancy is clearly magical hahaha. 

We also chatted over the usual stuff, her quest for Mr Right & updates on her career. Clearly i am at a stage in life now that there's nothing much to share about me except for the baby, so glad she had the patience to hear me out too. I sure hope to have new things to share about my lives once my family is complete. 

It also seems the interaction among my family is growin positively with the addition of our third generation. In our family groupchat i can feel free to throw questions their way & everyone including my mum & dad will offer their opinion on things. 

On this day, after sourcing & hunting for a cardigan for Sonia much to the dismay of Rodman (who clearly had me to blame that all our babies onesies consist only of short sleeves ones). I've decided to ask for help from Kayann. Maybe if luck was on my side my brother might saved some new born cardigan that he could pass it down to Sonia?

Then my brother said something that mades be embarrassed to be a almost-mum. He asked why i was fussing over cardigan when newborns are swaddle 80% of the time?   Then it all make sense - NO WONDER WE COULDN'T FIND A PROPER CARDIGAN FOR SONIA!!!~

Of course Rodman didnt accept that reason as well as i did, he wanted to stock up on more long sleeves but i was worried the weather in Singapore might be too hot for babies. In that snap above, my brother took a snap of all the clothes he can pass to Sonia & just as he was snapping it Kayann threw herself on the bed to join in the picture... Such a adorable niece!!!!!!

this was the day i got a little emotional. It was the night before Rodman had to be in-camp for a week so i was left to fend for myself. 

He make extra effort to request that Kristi stayed over the week to ensure nothing goes wrong. And in addition to that, our friendly-neighbour-buddies Shayne & Edmond also decided to stay at their new hunt for the entire week just in case i needed their help last minute. 

He would have gone out with Edmond earlier to stock up on the groceries earlier so i wont go hungry when i am lazy. Then come nightfall i realize we haven't had a proper picture taken together in a long while so here's one. Not long after that i started weeping like something had happen, of course Rodman was shocked!

Right now as i am typing this, i still can't explain what got into me to be that emotional but i blame it ENTIRELY on hormonal change hhahahahahaha. It was weird cos all through our relationship we were used to be being apart & due to work reasons we took turn being overseas for business at a lengthy period each time. We also didnt celebrate his birthday for years to come because it was always the time of the year where i have my company review. So it didnt make sense how i was teary knowing he will be away at camp (just a stone throw from my office compound) for the week & that i'll still see him comes friday.     So red-faced & slightly bewildered at myself so i shall marked this day down as the night i cried buckets because i fear surprise might befall me & that Sonia hopes to celebrate her birthday for the next 7 years during the time her Dada is away protecting the nation. 









Friday, July 14, 2017

Epilogue of new mum week 35

Sonia is coming soon...real soon. 

I have been sick for 19days now, not exactly really sick (having spoken to our gynae). 
Turns out the reason of my incessant coughing was due to the fact that Sonia was sitting on my tummy, so.. 
cough lah, cough all you want, as long as Sonia grows well.. 

Doc says she is 2.3Kg today, 2.279Kg to be exact, and Rodman took inspiration from that. So after our doc appointment yesterday, he took the gamble &  place a small bet on 2279.  Now we anticipate Sonia to bring us our first pot of gold.. hahaa.. silly moves like this amuse me alot. 

Our gynae was explaining the upcoming procedure to me.. i wasnt sure if EDD 20august2017 meant i was going to slowly make my way to KKH, then wait for the doctors to induce me so Sonia can arrived. 

The gynae says she hopes that my contraction starts by week 38/39, which will works out to start from Singapore National days onwards. If Sonia chooses to stay forth till 20august2017 LATEST, we will discuss plans to move forward such as an induce date. So from here forth i was to cut down on my appt from once every 2 months to 2 weeks, then to every week ( i am 5 weeks away from 20august as of today).  The good news is next week Rodman is on reservist so there is a slim chance Sonia will choose to appear. Thereafter we'll all pray hard that she choose her birthdate wisely & show me obviuos signs & gave me ample time to make my way to the hospital. 

Here's a creepy front facing scan of Sonia, hahaha... no 3D image cos KKH refuse to scan it for us... 

Left pic - Sonia with her eye socket, presumably open her eyes
Right pic - less visible scan of her eye socket, so it looks like she has her eye closed. 

i try not to the let the scan images gets into me, it kinda look creepy but take it its an skeleton scan. u can see her nostril bones, eye sockets & mouth hence its a complete normal scan. Wonderful how our brain works aint it..  and my colleagues were exclaiming in astonishment at the technology these days.. as compared to those times when their now 21 year old daughter had her first scan.. They truly felt that the scan these days were much clearer. 

In another attempt to prove my point, here's a scan of when my Mum has me inside her tummy, at week 35
sorry i am not sure i can explain exactly what we are seeing here. Its quite exciting to know i am now the mummy of Sonia from the little blop here i used to be..


I was just calculating & getting all the administrative matters sort out. From the short discussion with our HR earlier, i learnt that i will need to break from work earlier than i would preferred to. Largely due to the Annual leave that will soon expires, and the maternity leave i hope to tap on.. "Our corporation works differently, we dont have to abide the MOM recommendation " was what she said. 

Ya, one line sentence & now all is screwed. Judging from this sort of response, i estimate i have less than 2 weeks left at work before i bid my colleagues adios until the end of my maternity privileges. Just whatsapp my partner at work & let him know of the news. Its gonna be rushing through our handovers so he can manage my accounts while i take my well deserved break. i am nervous at the thought of not working for such a long stretch of time. 

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anyway, maternity leave is a privilege so i shouldnt be all negative about it.. so is the expiring annual leave, let's make the best out of whatever we are given. I will spend as much time as possible being a good new mummy to Sonia soon.. i hope. 

In other news, Sonia jiejie cousin is so sweet & addictive i just look forward to heading home to my mum every wednesday to spend sometime with her. 
Gu-zhang Rodman also melt at her presence & each time we left my mum's we spent the rest of the evening talking about how cute she is & how we hope Sonia will be as fun as Kayann will be. 

At one point pregnant hormones would have gotten into me &  i would be emotional & depressed, worying tat Sonia will not bring us as much joy as Kayann does. Rodman rest assured me i will love my own flesh & blood judging from how much he knows me. i sure hope that is true. 

Mentally, i feel like i am ready to see Sonia soon. Just yesterday Rodman asked if i will be mentally ready for my next pregnancy once we have Sonia. I was rather taken aback. I did share that the pregnancy has been rather smooth sailing & manageable thus far, and i felt very grateful for the good luck i have over utilised. Its not that i am dont look forward to the next baby at this point, but i haven't experience the REAL joy of seeing Sonia to judge. Besides, after being sick for 19 days straight after being well through the entire pregnancy, i get this inkling feeling that my mind has taken for granted what the body has been enduring. To be frank, if given a choice, i told Rodman i want to forget the negatives & pain from carrying Sonia, before i get pregnant again. Afterall, he is one weird fellow that is surprisingly quite "changed" after acknowledging his status as a Daddy.. =P

i recall us being out with our usual hangout weeks ago, and someone was saying how its scary that our clique will soon expand with the introduction of Sonia. At this point i agreed that we are all really excited at the new guest, then Rodman answer nonchalently that we are going to enjoy it. Its like he already knew it will influence his clique to quickly jump on the bandwagon & produce a mini version of themselves right after seeing ours. 

On our way home that night, i told Rodman how we used to pride ourselves as the model couple for our clique, so does this means when Sonia comes along we can pride ourselves as the model family now?  Rodman says even if we doesnt, at least we help influence his friends towards the right tracks. He also share how different he felt ever since he place his palms on my tummy & Sonia responded with a small thump.

Coincidentally, its like each time Rodman hinted Sonia for some response, he gets it on cue. He was really proud of this fact, he told his pal that the feeling was amazing. Sometimes he think back & came to the realization that he helped "made this fellow" & then there was a immerse sense of joy & pride. I dont ever think i share this kind of connection with Sonia, so i am convince Rodman has already mark his ownership over our daughter, and it felt kinda sweet. 

The saying goes that daughter are the ex-lover of their father. 前世情人, and it goes without saying that my daughter & her dad already acknowledged this to be true. Sonia's room is now ready awaiting her arrival, and her Dad spare no expense to making sure the room is comfortable. 

Here's the newly furnished room with help from Ed & Ray who took time off weekend to help paint the furniture pastel pink (no thanks to Daddy's limited knowledge of baby girl colors) & build the babycot. 

I have requested a few times for Rodman to sleep in the room so someone "room warming" before the confinement lady & Sonia arrived. He seems to reject it a little, as though it was well reserved for his Babygirl to do the warming herself. I have since shatter his dream as i invite my family over for staycation next week when he is on reservist. hahaha.. 

To sum it up, i used to spend the start of each year penning new resolution & trying hard to keep to it. My last few resolution were deliberately made doable only because i wanted to achieve it. This year flew by like a bullet train, i came to learn about Sonia arrival on november last year & since then, life whirlwind & i am now weeks away from seeing her. 

No, to a certain extent i still do not see myself as the overly attached mum that floods her instagram with baby pics, and i secretly wonder if i will adore my niece more than i can adore my daughter. The sort of attachment i was told i would soon felt also didnt came to me much. I guess its all down to the person who is undergoing the process. 

Each & everyday i swive Rodman a little more towards being the kind of parents i think fits our style. I didnt want to be the attentive blissful & twinning parents-baby trendy family i see others to be. Instead, i told Rodman i just wanna be cool about this whole growing up thing, to leave her in the safe hands of my mum & to continue growing our family financially, our marriage to be kept within us both, and that the baby is our investment. I know it gets hard to be away from our baby, especially me after 16 long weeks together, but i already knew how i wanted to do it soon enough, to stop feeling like my world revolve around her & to focus instead of working for a better future for her well-being. i dont want to be the 24/7 mum, tiger mum, BLW mum, breastfeeding FTW mum. I dont want to be all the mum i am reading up on. I need to be a working adult, a useful employee, a caring & loving wife to my husband, and i need to stay focus. 







Monday, June 19, 2017

What makes me unhappy...

As the week draws near & we are expecting the arrival of baby soon, i cannot help but be affected by the many things i have to sacrifice.

I have known for a long time that i tend to be a straight forward & strong-minded woman who feels that i am better off not being bonded by financial woes, and as such never really jump into the bandwagon of taking cash from Rodman for starting a family as well as making sure i always am bounded by a stable job so i can contribute & used my money like i deem worth.

There are definitely times i question my ability to lead a happy life like that of a handful close girlfriends who seemingly embrace being full-time mum & cherishing whatever amount their husbands extend to them, just being glad that they are getting by.   Then i know i will not be happy limiting my freedom to whatever is being extended to me, knowing i have the ability to ask for more & enjoy more.

For a long time coming, as long as Rodman & i contribute diligently to the monthly joint bank account we share then i feel that we are saving good & in preparation for bigger things. Then came our home that we now lived in for the past 6 months, where we take matters into our hands & make major financial decision that painfully deplete our savings to a new low. However it is no use holding back on those drawstrings as we need quality stuff to live by. Generally, i do like to think that we were lucky that we secure much good deals, both onlines & through the goodwill of people we were grateful to.   Back then, when Rodman commented that he didnt see his personal savings rising like it used to, clearly i had to do something & made him take into account that we were now at the mercy of our own savings & trying to build a comfortable roof over our head & surely, changes such as lowered expectation of personal savings is inevitable. But lo & behold, as i am the free spirit person i always am when it comes to the theory of "if it ain't broken , dont fix it" i didnt comment much, and only empathize by commenting how i felt the same towards my bank account.

Then come this day, now that we are less than 10 weeks away from the arrival of another spendthrift (no i dont mean it that way, but surely raising a kid means more money out your pocket hence the reference). Unfortunately i took on the role of making sure we path our way ahead with more expectation in mind, and having said that, started Rodman on the "discussion/argument/opinionated heated fight" over what is about to come our way. Here, we are about to embrace changes as new parents which also meant we were soon to start paying for an extra mouth, extra expenses such as milk powder, diapers & food. How are we going to cope with this? Is it ok that i deplete my savings since i dont earn as much as my husband? How are we going to split this responsibilities? Is he committed to splitting the cost of baby living between me & him 50-50?

I know i should have started the whole conversation on a light note, but so far attempts to mention this has been futile as we wind up concluding the conversation with thoughts about how we have to start tightening our pocket & be more mindful of the expense we occur. That..... is something neither of us are willing to part ways with.

Can i just say, at this point i feel that the biggest victim is the baby living inside me? On how selfish (instead of selfless) i felt we have both been as adults who decide now was the time to welcome a new member to our family? I wish i had the mentality that my girlfriends have lead me onto believing that i will eventually come to terms with? I wish when they mention "soon, you will realize it is all worth it!" meant giving up on dining with girlfriends at exquisite expensive diners, or giving up on chilling with the girls & instead head for home so i will reduce any chances of spurging on myself while they shop for clothes at the mall. I wish when they say that they are thankful for the handout (allowance, allowance, allowance... ) their husband pass them monthly, meant that they have way enough to feed the baby, the babysitter, the lost sleep, the lost of appetite, the housework, the all-in-a-day work without air-conditioned environment until bedtime.   I wish when they carry the baby & meitu-xiuxiu the pictures before posting them on social media, meant that they are done with a day work & their husbands are not working so hard to give good living  & that their marriage are never about financial woes & disagreement.

And then there are selfish person like me, who declare that once i set aside possible expense for my baby, i will be left with close to none savings in my bank account. but it will all be alright because it meant that i have the comfort & support of my trusted family to help take care of the baby while i continue to motivate myself to work for the society in return for salary to continue my current expenditure & also to be responsible to the baby i brought to the world.    Then i failed to realize this meant Rodman will soon see depleting sum in his personal savings & we are both just uncomfortable with this idea because he was the man who was always full of assurance of a secure & safe living & also the person i can count back on if things failed at my side. Without the steady rise in the his personal savings all of a sudden he faced all the uncertainties which directly affect me because we are both used to him being the pillar of our marriage.

At this point i wish i can stay strong & assure him nothing changes, but the truth is everything changes. Proven up till june now that we are living away from our families and his obvious halt in personal savings. I also contemplate ((not really.. i have already decided i will start)) spending lesser on myself so i can ease the burden for us both. I am not mentally strong on this one yet cos i have known myself to spend lesser than the people i generally know, but it only meant now that i have to be even stricter on myself (a.k.a illtreating) but thats something to worry for another day.

Why wont things fast track further so we will both now be accustom to the new lifestyle we can adopt with the baby? perhaps by then i will laugh this off at how silly this all sound becuase we didnt wind up spending too much afterall?    It is also a good time to tell me now how childish i have been in believing that raising a kid wont cost us much, becuase it will & our plans for the next 10 years are soon to change big time, and whats with the silly plan to raise another siblings in the next 2 years? i can barely breathe 2 months prior to my first-born.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Baby 2nd trimester

Finally back to update on some progressment.

These days there are numerous times i have felt like my stomach is rolling in the deep, ready to throw a bad diarrhea but furtile attempts. I googled if these were symptoms of the baby rolling or kicking in the stomach but apparently they werent quite the same thing. The advice on the internet says to lookout for fluttery feeling in the stomach but God knows how that feel cos i havent ate a butterfly before. It suck that each times i thought i felt what must have been a movement in the tummy only to be called false alarm by Rodman who, despite placing his palm on the tummy numerous times did not feel a slightest "nudge" like he said he should.

Seriously, i think that man thought we are feeding a Monster & movement is supposedly a obvious palm stetch into my tummy, Baby is on the size of a banana hello?!~   Of course, he was naturally upset that he didnt felt the baby moved & most times i brush it off saying i wasnt sure if it was baby movement afterall, so maybe not. I guess we both haven confirmed we have felt the baby moved yet?

I am starting to get all kinds of weird illness but each time i want to start worrying about it, i put off the idea as soon as they fall into the category of "pregnant symptoms". Migraine be the bane of my life, then comes flu (sinus, real sinus like block nose & watery tear duct) & all that going to bed feeling like i have been stuck in a drought yet not allowing myself any water for the fear of water retention.    There have been 2 episodes that i teared so far, just plain tired at hearing or accepting all the unneccessary comment that comes my way.

Should the topic of pregnancy be limit to only positive ^& congratulatory comments? Because most of those i received are really unnecessary!!!!

 I especially detest comments made by "those who had been there" - there is a lot to take in during this time, i dont care if you ever limit urself to only warm water all through your pregnancy  (your baby is whining non-stop for ice at the very moment you "advise" me to abstain from cold drinks.  You deprive yourself the luxury to enjoy the pregnancy but that doesnt give you the right to deprive mine.    I clearly dont take it well to your advise WITHOUT a reasonable explanation so please keep the comment to yourself already.

Rodma


Monday, March 13, 2017

Baby 1st trimester

I am 16 weeks pregnant today, which will works out to be 4 months. Baby will start growing hair next week, his/her limbs & fingers are slowly transform from the web mass it was previously.

I have been relatively happy, courtesy of Rodman being extraordinarily thoughtful. Most days i find myself being exaggeratedly happy from the least comical humor, in chinese we call this 笑点很底。 I have one noticeably weird emotional blast episode so far that saw me bursting into tears when all Rodman said was how i should have sounded the horn as i was driving & swiftly avoided a possible head-on collision with a Taxi driver.

You see, the driver had made a turn without checking for incoming car and i was the first in the tow to be maneuvering the straight road. Quite obviously i had the right of way but i jam brake anyhow to save my life as well as to warn the cars behind me of the impending danger. I had driven at a careful speed of 60km/h which was within speed limit so i had taken all the precaution & deserves a medal right?  .... no...not according to the Mr-experience-driver husband who felt i should have sounded the horn to warn the car of my arrival as i manipulate a straight road. Like, hello?!?!?!??!, who goes around sounding the horn EACH time they drive past a traffic light unless they are ambulance dashing across a amber-turning-red traffic stop. I felt Rodman's demand was beyond acceptance. and that - coupled with the fact that he had targeted on the things i DIDN't do, instead of complimenting on what i had done - had me whining & crying like my pet-mosquito died.    Thinking back, it was comical especially when Rodman profusely apologize just to cheer me up.

Baby says hello!! Yes, we should know the gender by now - no, we still don't know because there are no scan appointment from the last visit when it was too early to tell. It was frustrating really, i woke up excited - having lost sleep from the day before as it was finally time to reveal the gender. Drove to KK hospital only to be told we were only chatting with te Gynae today

like... WHAT?!??!?! "How are you?" "Everything ok?" "Have you finish your medicine?" "Let's hear the baby heartbeat"

and then i was send out the door - no scan to see the baby, only heard his/her heartbeat which is regular.  i was so so so upset at the waste of time really.

Next appointment - with a scan in toll of course - after double clarifying with the nurses - gender reveal finaly. 7 April i cannot wait for you to come sooner.

Mum said i had a belly all along, so its no wonder i had visible baby bump so early on - i can't really tell if it is only food tummy actually, so here's a snap to show the first obvious bump at week 12. Man this clothes i wear, how long till i outgrown them, sigh..

Finally breaking into the loan clothes from Karen, and first up was this pretty sarong dress made to measure when Karen was carrying her twins. I tot i had them out at the right time (13 weeks in) but clearly my belly tells no lie.. because
That fateful day might be the last i'll seen of this bali-ish dress Maxi that i so fancy. My belly threaten to burst the dress & i cannot even attempt to suck in the tummy (its impossible, i've tried)  as i went about the day carefully not to burst the seam.   I need to return this dresses to Karen at the end of it all so better keep them in a good condition otherwise.

Another vest-improvised top that i loan from Karen, which i tot i will maximize its mileage through the pregnancy. I do really like how i look in it, with colleague commenting i dont look at all pregnant. But if you notice, the buttons at the chest are threatening to burst - Karen tease that i am more endown - so i should look at it on the brighter side.  
On better days i finally spent some quality time with Baby Princess who have now grown into a fine young lady. She was outspoken & very clear on her articulation & demand. We had lunch & it was instructed from the start that she fancy only 署条, so fries it was. Since preggy Kristal wanted some fries too, i was allowed a handful before she hinted me to leave her fries alone.   

Baby princess & me,  i regretted not making more effort to see her through her many milestone, gonna create more memories with her if time permits. Can you spot my baby bump in the above picture?
Paperstop & i finally met! and we have endless of things to talk about - as usual. 


Since i havent got a craving that day, we randomly joined a queue to spend more time chatting & wind up the night having one of the most satisfying meal this pregnancy!   I didnt even get the name of the restaurant when we left but the exact location is clearly etched in my mind. 

Basically, you sit on the rows of wake- commonly used plastic red chair & advance with the queue as it shortens. Rice barley water were served at interval to tie you through the bad wait. We must have clock all of 1 hr till it is our turn. As we walk in, it finally dawn upon us why the queue, it was quaint small restaurant with very limited sitting - about less than 20 pax per ""session""?

Anyway, you can ONLY choose from [SPECIAL] or [VEGETARIAN], so special it is! It is really weird just staring into the chef as they prepare your meal. It was only then that wwe learnt we were eating tempura - served with rice & a fried poached egg. A Chawamushi & a bowl of miso soup. No further question is asked. 

Verdict  - definitely render a return visit, i must have kept alot of friends in suspense & even Rodman is just waiting for the next trip when i gave in & reveal the locaation to him. I LOVE THIS RESTAURANT SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!~

Per set meal came to about S$19 each, you do not choose from varieties, and for some ppl who ate certain vegetables - Lady finger & Yam are DEFINITELY in the menu... 

Finally decided to stop being so lazy & wake up at unearthly hour ((actually pretty erthly considering its 9am but its saturday & meant for sleep in)) to conquer Singapore Quarry. I must have to trek that since 1980??!?!? anyhooo Singapore Quarry checked & here's the latest baby bump pic - Baby is growing well at 16 weeks now :)

This is more obvious, also spot my boobs threatening to tear my sports bra apart. 


One more closely similar shot because they all look so good i cannot post just 1. 

And there you have it! One third completion to Baby's journey, just 24 more weeks to go- jia you!












Monday, February 20, 2017

Dong Dong Dong... Xiao Ji JI

04jan2017

After being reassured 3 times of your existence, out of the 4 test sticks we've taken. I've decided to ask for advise, and at this point i am thankful i did, because just when i thought i should take it slow, i realize i need to see a doctor ASAP. It is at this moment i felt that we were caught off guard. Despite it being the 2nd time we are feeling the same roller coaster of emotions, we were adamant to make this experience the best one.

I spoke to Jeff whose wife recently gave birth & he suggested i wasted no time to seeing a doctor, he also provided some perspective on govt versus private clinic. A lengthy discussion with Rodman later, we've decided that the best was to confirm (yes, once again because it is never too much to reassure us of your comfort inside) via a scan ASAP before we make the next decision.




05jan2017

 i took half a day off work while Rodman lay at home suffering the aftermath of yet another bout of stomach flu, at this point he has lost 5kg by visiting the toilet puking & diarrhea. It was a tough time for us both because i was puking for all the weirdest reason & so was he.

Some point we will look back & remember we both suffer morning sickness while we had you :)

We left for our very first schedule appointment with W Clinic, it was after checking on the contact with Faye, who have delivered 3 times at Mount A. For some reason Rodman blurt out Mount A when we discuss where we can deliver you, so Mount A it shall be. Dr Ben was a gynae who was very neat & looks really young. Nevertheless he was really charming and carry an very confident aura as he speaks.

i learnt from the nurses that he has just arrived from the delivery suite not long ago, hence some of the appt were pushed behind. When i went in i mention we were 2 lost lambs who were unsure of what to do as it is our 1st visit. Yet, after discussing my medical condition with Dr Ben, he reassure me i am more experienced than alot of Mothers he has consulted. Seems like all this medical terms i have been encountering are finally paying off.

Dr Ben did a scan & we saw you for the very 1st  time... if i can describe u in 1 word?

"SMALL"

like, very small, just hanging tightly onto me, a little blop, Dr Ben turned on the volume & both Rodman & i heard u for the very 1st time. I was about to feel all emotional but Dr Ben didnt allow that, i think he cut the volume off just in time for me to regain my saint  (although Rodman didnt agree, he says he was very very touched to hear your heartbeat goes "Dong.. Dong.. dong")

Initial consultation & SGD$250 later, we left the clinic, it was a really short session & we discuss how our DongX3 (based on your heartbeat    so punny i know) is making us feel so motivated. I also started regretting the Happy Meal i bought at 10pm last night & gobble down on the pretext of you being hungry.   You were tiny & mighty but cannot possibly gobble the 4 pieces of McNugget & fries so i had no excuse for piling on my fats.

Xiaojiji (again, you  were born in the year of Chicken, so more Pun intended), you are 9mm today, the size of 1 blueberry.

but have the love of 2 fully grown adults, who are eager to make sure you are well & comfortable inside..

6Jan2017
we moved house today, our first family home. There are alot of saying on how pregnant woman have to avoid the ceremony so you &  i stayed comfortably at in-law's while Rodman gets the shifting done.

Today your Uncle Raymond learnt about the good news and he was very mindful especially when we were on the car to the new hse AFTER the ceremony was concluded. He even pick me out to lunch outside the hse when the bed was shift in because i am not suppose to be witnessing or present during any shift.

Uncle Raymond is excited that after yearning for a long time you finally came.

That night, we slept uneasy because the environment was new but Rodman was the most attentive, i gather that he probably fell sick the following day because of waking up constantly to check on me. Your Dad makes an Awesome husband & Daddy.

7Jan2017
I didnt have craving today or nausea, it got a little worrying as we busied ourselves silly the whole day with unpacking. Rodman & Hua also took countless trips back & forth between In-laws & new place delivering boxes after boxes of 2nd hand stuff.   Shayne & Edmond render help in the form of unpacking my clothes & they were shock beyond words at my hoarding habits.  At the end they commented it was easy to see why i needed 200 hangars & i might have to get more just to accomodating Rodman's pathetic collection.

That day we filled up a grand total of 70% of all the cupboards at home, i took a mental note that most clothings might soon not see the end of dark as i will probably lost this figure with you & the future. Maybe more throwing out by mid-year.

Also Xiao jiji, you dont have an official wardrobe space at home right now, my brain need to crack for more space.

We have great BBQ dinner where Rodman ordred extra hotpot as i was craving soup. I cannot tell if u wanted soup  or was it just me? Nvm that thou as long as i got my tummy filled with yummy soup. i felt disgusted at meat after a few rounds, xiao jiji probably prefer eating clean, ok mental note taken.

8jan2017
Sleep got better because your Dad found a smart temporary solution to black out the room, he was also worried the dust at home might make us uncomfortable. Today your Aunt kristi will visit to get some crafting done.

Rodman & i had a small tiff about me holding scissors or painting as this was taboo especially during your time, i felt a little upset but it went away pretty fast. Your Daddy also got me  a comfortable tee shirt as he was shoping for a air purifier while i was crafting at home.   Its been a long while that he bought me a wearable it feels kinda sweet.

By night Rodman cooked us pasta. Aunt Kristi & Rodman work hand in hand to install the towel rack & set up the air purifier, i love the new Sharp Air purifier for its silence & clean air. Unfortunately Rodman fell sick all of a sudden cross midnight and his forehead was burning hot, Your dad is really working very hard to build us a comfortable place to live & raise you in. Xiaojiji i hope you adore your Daddy just like how i respect & adore mine so much.

i puke a little before bedtime, i reckon it was the cheese you were rejecting. I have since highlight dairy product as 1 of your dislike.

Today you are the size of a blue berry :)

9jan2017
MIL suppose to cook on monday but being the replacement for Confinement nanny for my SIL has taken a toll on her so we didnt make it back to Rodman's.   We chose Nakhon Thai at holland Village because Xiao Ji ji wanted spicy sour food. It was a frustrating moment because i had alot of thoughts in my mind... i think when pregnant you tend to get very fickle minded.    we must have went back & forth a few times before confirming on the dinner location.   Today we also realize we will be spending $$ on dinner in future especially if we have no intention to cook. Rodman also got a little frustated when i insist on walking a little more & more after dinner, his shoes didnt serve him that well but i was feeling under the weather & really wanted the walking to stop the puking feeling.

Baby i hope we'll both have more patience for you soon.

10jan2017
Manage to secure a Polyclinic appt so as to reduce the possible charges incurred carrying you.   I told Rodman we need to prepare for possible second kid after you, so it doesnt make sense to deliver you at some pretige hospital then possibly struggle to give your next siblings the same luxurious treatment. Dr Ben was really good but after some research we both agreed that KK hospital will probably take the same amount of great care for you & mummy.

The appt timing was very appropriate so i was the last patient for the evening & can do so after work. The doctor in charge knew exactly what to do after i explain my purpose, the entire process was over in a 2 hours much to my delight.

After the visit, we dabao dinner near the mall & took a long stroll home, then we did housework together & setttle for the night, you were fantastic today Baby, Mummy went to bed in a breeze & woke up feeling great & refresh!

11jan2017
Hello Xiaojiji, today Rodman & i went to run some errand and since i can no longer tell if i was hungry or just you asking for food, i went ahead & order a large of potato wedges for snacks. We had it in CDC cafe at Bendemeer road & the ambience there is worth a return visit.  Then we collected the house carpet before heading to play with your Da jiejie Kayann.   Kayann bring us so much joy & give us alot of hope on how cute you will be.   At one point your Da jiejie step on mummy tummy & i was worried you will be uncomfortable, but it was overall a really good trip back home & enjoying my Mum (your grandma's) cooking.  We left after finishing watching the last episode of the korean drama, much to ur Grandma's & Grandpa's dismay since they prefer to watch 118.

12jan2017
Xiaojiji was not nice today. Or rather, it was my fault because i wanted to give black soya sauce another shot so we grab some ccf soak in sweet sauce & yam for breakfast.  By lunch, i had vomit most of the half packet out, and decided to leave the balance food uneaten to throw.

I was craving for porridge real bad & since the meeting schedule today ended ahead of schedule, i made sweet potato porridge with stir fried french bean, steam tofu with mince meat & reheat cann spicy pork & the half packet of CCF from morning for dinner. i think Rodman enjoy the dinner i whip, though i was personally feeling under the weather especially when i came into contact with meat.

Xiaojiji i think you prefer healthy diet, vege porridge & soupy stuff... Mummy will take note.

13jan2017
i am in a fabulous appetite today. By now puking & re-eating becomes an routine, i forget how i suffer when feeling nausea then over eat again  & again. Staycation happening tomorrow to celebrate 2 years of marrying Rodman, finally something to look forward to.

14jan2017
We woke up bright & early to grab breakfast & also to send Timmy for car polishing. This might be the final time we get to doll up Timmy. Coincidently, you might or might not be in time to meet Timmy before we get a new car. Please remember once upon a car, Mummy drove a mini car but small as he was, he was mighty! We moved into your 1st home with the help of Timmy, Rodman drove Timmy back & forth your grandparent's place umpteen times till we shifted most of the furnitures & boxes in. Your Uncle Raymond also took part in shifting the place since i was carrying you & not suitable to be lugging heavyweights.

Once Timmy was shining bright we checked into Parkroyal hotel where Rodman fell asleep all through the afternoon & before you know it, it was dinner time. I guess the thought of not having to keep the place tidy & clean unlike our home does great to getting him to relax. We grab Taimei's BBQ chicken coupled with Zam Zam famous bee hoon goreng & Murtabak for dinner then settled in for a night of more sleep. Did i mention the bathtub was cozy & warm so i soak myself inside for a good 45min, it was really a worthy staycation.

15jan2017
checked out of the hotel today and we were ahead of the required timing. Perhaps staycay doesnt work that well for us afterall since we just moved into our new place! Wanted badly to head home as i was feeling sleepy & lethargic. So we head home & both fell promptly asleep till 4 where we set off to attend baby sophie 4th month celebration.

I seem to take on a intense craving for Bee hoon, after the hotel breakfast which i ate a bowl of bee hoon soup, i went on to eat bee hoon fish soup for lunch & for dinner it was stir fried bee hoon. Never knew i had such high treshold for bee hoon, think we could be heading for a right diet direction (less the puke before bed, too much of the OTHER food on top of bee hoon that day)

16jan2017
Its going to be back at Rodman's parent place for dinner today. After yesterday episode of puke, i find myself unwell this morning, especially lethargic & extremely sleepy. I must have reached office at 8? Only to fall asleep right on my desk from 8.30-9am. So glad i wasnt caught (or was i? but they were too scared to ask ahahaha).

Decided today will be the day i cut my food intake into different interval. Starting from breakfast i had small bites every 2 hourly until it was time to knock off, it could be small meals as tiny as some slice tomato & the body felt so much better.

For dinner, Rodman lied to his Mum that he was suffering from stomach flu when he ate Dark soya sauce (which was the bane of most of my misery - Dark soya sauce anything!!). So MIL stir fried some mee-tai-mak without the sauce & it tasted really good. Rodman also decided it will be a great day to throw in some herbal soup (because herbal soup was part of my healthy diet according to our previous TCM). We lied again that we wanted to add some dishes for dinner so no one question us further. I went home full, and again reminding myself i needed to eat lesser for dinner since i dont usually feel hungry by evening.

Looks like i might have strike it right with the diet plan today.

17jan2017
today we head to Ma's place for dinner, but didnt stay very long because we were "assigned" to do housework.

Rodman whine quite abit, and threw his tantrum. I should really consider being less rigid about keeping the house clean but i tot the schedule plan was good enough (we had rest day on Monday, wednesday, Friday) with only 1 task per housework day ( he vacuum, i mop) (he scrub toilet floor & mop it dry; i wipe all the bottom cabinets & window)...  Yet Rodman wasnt getting used to this, he told me that it was really tiring especially after a day of work. hmm..  i am  routine person when it comes to housework, so i told him he could skip his chores & made it up when he feels like it, but he emphasize that i was "pressuring" him with my walking up & down, cleaning around him.

Some more compromising needed for sure, we will work it out.


18jan2017
We got married 2 years ago!!~ And he is still as charming, if not better! i am so so excited about the future we'll be crafting together!!~

Mr romantic also ordered a bouquet of very very very pretty flowers! i didnt expect him to finally get what i liked but he did - no advise for the type of bouquet from his fellow girl friends just him catching all the type of things i love & puttng them into a pretty pretty bouquet


Still all white roses ((  subtle pink but at least alot of greens to compensate)) this bouquet is so pretty i cannot stop staring, now onwrds to the sulking part of watching it turn into brown dry flowers. I wanna keep each stalk as perfect as i possibly can!!

Everything else that night was secondary, had some time in between to drop Kayann a visit & watch her smile & hug her chubs, it was a great day. We end up dining & listening to live band before calling it a day. 

19jan2017
Another carefully crafted trip to JB for work, took out all the accessories & fuel up with bee hoon for breakfast, manage to grab some light bites for lunch at Tang Shi Fu then its back to SG safely!!

I also met up with Paperstop for her dinner treat & thou the food was not fantastic, the company surely was!!~ She gave me a pretty Kate Spade bangle that i keep so dearly, Rodman then went home got the moppping floor done & came to fetch me, It was god-sent because i was too tired from driving to Malaysia that morning so manage to catch a wink on the train enroute to Tanjong Pagar.    i feel bad for making Rodman travel despite resting at home after a day of work, but he did it for you Xiaojiji, so it was probably worth it. 

I fell asleep promptly once i hit the sack, sleeping has never been easier :)

20jan2017
Meals were taken promptly & my appetite seems better today. I even suggested KFC & Macdonald which i have been avoiding for sometime for dinner (oily food leaves a very bad after taste in my body especially during this period)

We did some light housework then Rodman went off for his soccer (good job less the myth of Daddy's belly becoming reality) and then the fatigue came in soon after, i must have laid around on the sofa feeling super off & slightly nausea, then head to bed & continue feeling unsure if i was slipping in real sleep or not.    By 11pm when Rodman return home & i was feeling certain there is nothing to be of concern about i fell into a deep sleep.

21jan2017
Rodman drove his family out to marketing first thing in the morning, and i was still in a deep sleep. Sleep is real bonus especially when i dont have to wake up to the sound of the alarm. Not long after i woke, it must have crossed lunch hour because Rodman have returned with lunch & i munch the entire thing down. We sat around a little then headed to MIL to babysit the Edyth  -- which btw fail big time because clearly she despise our company, It ended up with my MIL taking time off her schedule to coo her to bed while we watch tv. We left defeated - to IKEA to grab some furnitures & grocery to whip out dinner.

So IKEA this time was a straight forward affair. We only pay extra attention to the aisle we needed our stuff & headed straight to the tilt. Then my hunger pang strike again & we had a bowl of noodle at the hawker in GIANT. the crowd was too much for me to handle so i grab the bare necessity we needed to make a simple dinner & headed home.

Dinner was comforting and we rested early for the night.

22jan2017
Today was a day of running errand, but it was for a good cause. Our nieces celebrated fullmonth/brthday on the same day so there were 2 parties to ran to.

Afternoon came & Rodman send me to a long stroll to grab some tools while he drill the wall at home. It was worrying because this fellow is no expert at carpentry - thou he definitely deserve some credit after all this years of hearing how i adore men who did carpentry  & he has came a long way... Our hse is finally completed with the hole in the wall & the curtain installation.

For a mini celebration we headed out for dinner but ended up spending hundreds (whats new)on groceries & whats-not for CNY. Haix, we really need to tied our strings tighter & be less flex with financing man.

Long story short, we accomplished alot for the house today so we were dead beat by bedtime, we wrap some angpow in preparation of CNY then lights off where i had a deep deeep sleep till daybreak.

23jan2017

Worst traffic ever, jam everywhere & all that concentration on the road makes me so tired even before i start work.  Also the ERP $.50 per trip is really getting on my nerves, i need to stay calm & chirpy what is this crap.

Headed to Fatty Foo's parent place where Aunty pass me some toilet scent she help purchase from her market place. So many people are being really sweet to me, i need to appreciate & give thanks to every one.

Read up on #dayrehorror tales & came across some article on 陈老师, she is the famous name that often pops up on 来自星星的事 as the solution to alot of bad hauntings. So apparently a dayre blogger visited her during her trip to Taiwan, then it mention that 妈祖娘娘 whom 陈老师 seek the divine help in solving matter often find Singaporean paying them a visit mostly for expanding their family brood.

Which totally reminded me that i was in Taiwan back in November 2016, and with the help of our efficient tour guide, manage to pay our respect to a temple in Taiwan that also pray to 妈祖娘娘。 For a minute, i had this vision that i might just have asked the Holy for blessing for a healthy child, then by december came the news that i was pregnant with xiaojiji.   I begin to panick/actually excited
that my prayers was really answered & what could possibly be the next steps?    Upon seeking advice from Rodman, we felt that whether our prayers were really answered we should also return our thanks when we get the chance to visit 妈祖娘娘 once more.

Never doubted the greatness of the majestic above, just decided this time that the correct article came into my view at the right that seems to clear the doubts i have that exist somewhere inside my heart. It was a great feeling to fit this puzzle :)

24jan2017
My attempt at poking some insights on the bonus was futile, but from what i gather, it seems this year we will not expect too much in terms of bonus, or the pay review. It has been what - 5 years since i join the company & maybe my career luck didnt sit right with the company, hahah becuase i have yet to experience the "fat bonus" that was much talk about when i first joined the company.

Sad is the owner of a great car that will soon scrap this september 2017, i have officially 8 months to save enough for the next car & with the baby due the same time, it is kinda getting worrying.













Monday, February 06, 2017

Now where do i begin?

Between this short period i have experience a couple of things/incidents that left so much values in my heart
- i had the house to myself, unable to attend the wake of a person who deserve my respect
- i had the freedom to do anything i want, and then learnt i wasnt all that keen on being alone as i thought i would like
- i have an amazing sister who drops everything on her sleeves to keep me company
- i saw some memories on facebook leading to events that took places over the past years, and then remember all the good deeds & people that have supported me & shaped me into who i am today

it's an amazing & helluva ride to have this injected hormones in me suddenly so i get all emotional and learn to see things in different perspective.

Sometimes  u tend to look straight at the one destination you set to reached, and along the way you ignore alot of valuable things that pop up here & there. I am blessed beyond my imagination &  i have been so damn ignorant to fail to see them.    But lucky me, i have been given so many opportunities to slowly unwrap them bit by bit, feeling luckier & luckier with each realization.   Such is an amazing feeling to feel like the world is hugging you & you feel so warm from the cosiness.

i.must.have.done.somethiing.right.to.deserve.all.this!